[ROCK MUSIC]
♪ ♪
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
>> John: WELCOME,
WELCOME, WELCOME
TO "LAST WEEK TONIGHT."
I'M JOHN OLIVER.
THANK YOU SO MUCH
FOR JOINING US.
LOOK, AS WE SPEAK,
HURRICANE IRMA IS BATTERING
FLORIDA, AND FOR COVERAGE OF
THAT, I CANNOT RECOMMEND
STRONGLY ENOUGH THAT YOU WATCH
SOMETHING ELSE RIGHT NOW.
BECAUSE WE HAVE A LOT
TO CATCH UP ON.
WE'VE BEEN OFF FOR THE LAST
COUPLE OF WEEKS AND HAVE MISSED
A GREAT DEAL OF STORIES
FROM CONTINUING TENSIONS WITH
NORTH KOREA TO EQUIFAX'S
MASSIVE DATA BREACH
TO ME PERSONALLY FALLING OFF
THE TAYLOR SWIFT TRAIN.
LOOK WHAT YOU MADE ME DO,
TAYLOR.
BUT WE HAVE TO BEGIN TONIGHT
WITH PRESIDENT TRUMP.
THE ERIC TRUMP OF OLD PEOPLE.
THE PRESIDENT HAD AN ERRATIC
WEEK, EVEN BY HIS STANDARDS,
BEST CHARACTERIZED BY TWO
BIG DECISIONS.
ON WEDNESDAY, HE MET WITH
CONGRESSIONAL LEADERS TO HAMMER
OUT A DEAL TO RAISE THE DEBT
CEILING AND FUND THE GOVERNMENT.
DEMOCRATS WANTED JUST
A THREE-MONTH EXTENSION
TO GIVE THEM STRATEGIC LEVERAGE,
WHILE REPUBLICAN LEADERSHIP
WAS UNDERSTANDABLY FIERCELY
AGAINST THAT.
>> REPUBLICANS WANTED
A LONG-TERM SOLUTION TO AVOID
ANOTHER BRUISING FIGHT
IN DECEMBER.
BUT IN THE OVAL OFFICE, SITTING
DOWN WITH LEADERS OF BOTH
PARTIES, THE PRESIDENT SIDED
WITH THE DEMOCRATS.
THAT STUNNING IMAGE,
THE PRESIDENT CUTTING A DEAL
WITH DEMOCRATS AND BLINDSIDING
HIS OWN PARTY.
>> John: YEAH, THAT IS
A SURPRISING MOVE, AS YOU CAN
SEE FROM SCHUMER'S EXPRESSION.
IT'S AS IF HE'S IN THE MIDST OF
SAYING "YOU...
ARE NOT VERY SMART, ARE YA,
BUDDY?"
AND THE DETAILS OF HOW
THE NEGOTIATION UNFOLDED ARE
REALLY STRIKING, BECAUSE THREE
MONTHS WAS THE DEMOCRATS' FIRST
OFFER.
AND TRUMP JUST TOOK IT.
IT WAS SO SHOCKING, REPUBLICANS
APPARENTLY FROZE IN MID-SMILE.
WHICH MUST'VE BEEN AN UNSETTLING
SIGHT, GIVEN THAT I WILL
REMIND YOU THIS IS WHAT IT LOOKS
LIKE WHEN MITCH MCCONNELL
SMILES IN REAL TIME.
IT'S CREEPY WHEN IT MOVES.
IT'S DOWNRIGHT TERRIFYING
WHEN IT FREEZES.
AND BEFORE REPUBLICANS COULD
EVEN TRY AND SALVAGE
THE MEETING, IT WAS COMPLETELY
DERAILED.
>> AT THE HEIGHT OF A TENSE
MEETING, SOURCES SAY,
FIRST DAUGHTER IVANKA TRUMP
ENTERED THE OVAL OFFICE TO
PITCH HER AGENDA ON THE CHILD
TAX CREDIT, THROWING THE MEETING
OFF-TOPIC.
REPUBLICAN LEADERS VISIBLY
ANNOYED BY HER PRESENCE.
>> John: YOU KNOW, I BELIEVE
THAT'S ACTUALLY THE NAME OF
IVANKA'S UPCOMING BIOGRAPHY:
"VISIBLY ANNOYED BY HER
PRESENCE: THE IVANKA TRUMP
STORY."
AND THAT WAS FAR FROM THE MOST
UNCOMFORTABLE MOMENT INVOLVING
IVANKA THIS WEEK, BECAUSE AT
A NORTH DAKOTA EVENT LATER
THAT SAME DAY, HE INTRODUCED HER
LIKE THIS.
>> COME UP, HONEY.
SHOULD I BRING IVANKA UP?
COME ON UP, HONEY.
SHE'S SO GOOD.
SHE WANTED TO MAKE THE TRIP.
SHE SAID, "DAD, CAN I GO?"
SHE ACTUALLY SAID, "DADDY,
CAN I GO WITH YOU?"
I LIKE THAT.
RIGHT?
"DADDY, CAN I GO WITH YOU?"
I SAID, "YES, YOU CAN."
>> John: OH.
HIS 35-YEAR-OLD DAUGHTER
CLLS HIM "DADDY"
AND HE LIKES IT.
THAT'S ONE OF THOSE FACTS THAT
ON SOME LEVEL, I ALREADY KNEW.
I JUST NEVER WANTED TO HAVE
CONFIRMED LIKE, WHEN SOMEONE
AIRBNB'S YOUR PLACE,
THEY EJACULATE ON LITERALLY
EVERYTHING, OR "IF I WAS THERE
FOR THE MANSON MURDERS,
I PROBABLY WOULD HAVE
STABBED SOMEONE."
I AM NOT GOOD
WITH PEER PRESSURE.
IT WOULD HAVE BEEN SO WEIRD IF I
WAS THE ONLY ONE NOT STABBING.
I'D HAVE PROBABLY
HAD A QUICK STAB.
AND LOOK, IT'S GOOD THAT THE
GOVERNMENT IS GETTING FUNDED.
AND THERE WAS HURRICANE RELIEF
ATTACHED TO THE BILL.
BUT NOBODY SEEMS EXACTLY SURE
WHY TRUMP MADE THIS DECISION.
ONE SENIOR REPUBLICAN AIDE
TOLD POLITICO IT WAS
"MYSTIFYING", ADDING,
"MAYBE IT'S ABOUT THE WALL?
I DON'T KNOW.
NONE OF IT MAKES ANY SENSE."
WHICH REALLY SHOULD HAVE BEEN
THE SLOGAN OF TRUMP'S
PRESIDENTIAL CAMPAIGN.
"MAYBE IT'S ABOUT THE WALL?
I DON'T KNOW.
NONE OF IT MAKES ANY SENSE."
AND THIS WAS NOT THE ONLY BIG
DECISION TRUMP MADE THIS WEEK
FOR LESS-THAN-CLEAR REASONS.
BECAUSE ON TUESDAY, HE TOOK
A FAR MORE CONSEQUENTIAL STEP.
>> PRESIDENT TRUMP IS ENDING
FORMER PRESIDENT OBAMA'S
SIGNATURE IMMIGRATION PROGRAM.
THE DEFERRED ACTION FOR
CHILDHOOD ARRIVALS,
KNOWN AS DACA, PROTECTS ABOUT
800,000 UNDOCUMENTED IMMIGRANTS
WHO CAME TO THE U.S. AS KIDS
FROM DEPORTATION.
>> John: YES, DONALD TRUMP ENDED
DACA, WHICH ALLOWED HIM TO BOTH
KILL AN OBAMA-ERA PROGRAM
AND PICK ON HUNDREDS
OF THOUSANDS OF IMMIGRANTS.
WHICH, FOR TRUMP, IS REALLY
KILLING TWO BIRDS
WITH ONE STONE.
INCIDENTALLY, HIS FAVORITE
CHILDHOOD PASTIME.
"MOMMY, I KILLED THE FANCY
PIGEONS AGAIN!
I NEED A NEW BATCH."
NOW, DACA NOT ONLY PROTECTS
ITS RECIPIENTS, OR "DREAMERS,"
FROM DEPORTATION, IT ALLOWS THEM
TO WORK THROUGH
A RENEWABLE TWO-YEAR PERMIT.
IT WAS A TEMPORARY MEASURE
IMPLEMENTED BY
PRESIDENT OBAMA, BECAUSE
CONGRESS HAD FAILED TO PASS
IMMIGRATION REFORM FOR OVER
A DECADE.
AND WHATEVER PEOPLE'S FEELINGS
ON OTHER ASPECTS OF IMMIGRATION,
THEY OVERWHELMINGLY BELIEVE
DREAMERS SHOULD BE ALLOWED
TO STAY IN THE COUNTRY.
THE PROBLEM IS THAT DURING
THE CAMPAIGN, TRUMP PROMISED HIS
BASE NOT ONLY THAT HE WOULD END
DACA BUT THAT HE WOULD DEPORT
ITS RECIPIENTS.
ALTHOUGH BEYOND THAT, HE DIDN'T
REALLY SEEM TO HAVE MUCH IN THE
WAY OF A CONCRETE PLAN.
>> THEY HAVE TO GO.
>> WHAT IF THEY HAVE NO PLACE
TO GO?
>> WE WILL WORK WITH THEM.
THEY HAVE TO GO.
CHUCK -- WE EITHER HAVE
A COUNTRY OR WE DON'T HAVE
A COUNTRY.
WE WILL DO IT AND WE WILL
EXPEDITE IT SO PEOPLE
CAN COME BACK IN.
>> IT'S STILL NOT CLEAR.
>> CHUCK, CHUCK, IT WILL WORK
OUT SO WELL.
YOU'LL BE SO HAPPY.
IN FOUR YEARS, YOU'RE GOING TO
BE INTERVIEWING ME AND SAY,
"WHAT A GREAT JOB YOU'VE DONE,
PRESIDENT TRUMP."
>> John: THAT IS NOT A PLAN.
SAYING "THEY HAVE TO GO," BUT
THEN THEY CAN MAYBE COME BACK
IN AND THEN ENDING SOUNDING LIKE
HE'S TRYING TO HYPNOTIZE
CHUCK TODD.
"IT WILL WORK OUT SO WELL.
YOU'LL BE SO HAPPY.
IN FOUR YEARS, YOU'RE GOING TO
SAY, WHAT A GREAT JOB
YOU'VE DON, PRESIDENT TRUMP.
NOW, WHEN I SNAP MY FINGERS,
YOU'RE GOING TO WAKE UP
AND WET YOUR PANTS."
NOW, YOU WOULD HOPE THAT NOW
HE'S IN OFFICE, TRUMP WOULD'VE
FORMULATED A PLAN OUTLINING
EXACTLY WHAT HE'D LIKE TO SEE
HAPPEN REGARDING THE DREAMERS.
BUT APPARENTLY,
AS LATE AS ONE HOUR BEFORE
THE DECISION WAS TO BE
ANNOUNCED,
ADMINISTRATION OFFICIALS
PRIVATELY EXPRESSED CONCERN
THAT MR. TRUMP MIGHT NOT FULLY
GRASP THE DETAILS OF THE STEPS
HE WAS ABOUT TO TAKE.
WHICH, AGAIN, IS AWFUL,
BUT SOMETHING WE ALL PROBABLY
PRESUMED ANYWAY.
LIKE THE FACT THAT
TOM HANKS'S CHARACTER IN
"CAST AWAY"
ABSOLUTELY FUCKED WILSON.
NO DOUBT THAT HAPPENED.
AND SURE ENOUGH, THE NEXT DAY,
TRUMP SEEMED TO BE WALKING BACK
HIS DECISION, SAYING,
CONGRESS NOW HAD SIX MONTHS
TO LEGALIZE DACA, AND IF THEY
DIDN'T, HE WOULD
"REVISIT THIS ISSUE."
SO HE'S ALL OVER THE PLACE.
DREAMERS HAVE TO GO.
BUT MAYBE THEY CAN COME BACK IN.
OR MAYBE THEY DON'T HAVE TO GO
AT ALL.
AND IN THE MEANTIME, 800,000
PEOPLE'S LIVES ARE
IN THE BALANCE.
AND WHEN ASKED ON AIR FORCE ONE
ABOUT THESE MIXED SIGNALS,
HE WAS STILL MADDENINGLY VAGUE
ABOUT ANYTHING RESEMBLING
A PLAN.
>> CHUCK AND NANCY WOULD LIKE
TO SEE SOMETHING HAPPEN,
AND SO DO I.
AND I SAID, IF WE CAN GET
SOMETHING TO HAPPEN, WE'RE GOING
TO SIGN IT, AND WE'RE GONNA MAKE
IT -- WE'RE GONNA MAKE A LOT
OF HAPPY PEOPLE.
>> John: OKAY, LISTEN:
ANYTIME TRUMP
SAYS HE'S GOING TO MAKE PEOPLE
HAPPY OR THAT YOU'RE GOING
TO BE HAPPY IN THE FUTURE,
THAT MEANS HE'S GOT NOTHING,
AND IS TRYING TO END
THE CONVERSATION.
REMEMBER THAT'S HOW HE SHUT DOWN
CHUCK TODD ON THE PLANE.
AND HE DOESN'T JUST DO IT
WITH IMMIGRATION.
HE DOES IT WITH EVERYTHING.
HERE'S HOW HE TALKED TO BUSINESS
LEADERS ABOUT HIS PLANS
TO CHANGE TRADE POLICY.
>> WAIT UNTIL YOU SEE
WHAT'S UP FOR YOU.
YOU ARE GOING TO BE SO HAPPY.
>> John: THAT IS THE TONE
OF SOMEBODY WHO FORGOT TO BUY AN
ANNIVERSARY GIFT AND IS STALLING
FOR TIME.
"WAIT UNTIL YOU SEE WHAT'S UP
FOR YOU.
I'LL BE BACK IN 45 MINUTES.
YOU'RE GONNA BE SO HAPPY."
HE DOES THIS FOR EVERYTHING.
HERE ARE HIS PROMISES FOR BORDER
SAFETY, THE MIDDLE EAST,
STEEL TARIFFS, REPLACING
OBAMACARE,
AND INFRASTRUCTURE.
>> WE ARE GOING TO MAKE IT
SO THAT EVERYBODY IS HAPPY.
I THINK YOU'RE GOING TO BE
VERY HAPPY WITH THE END RESULT.
THE STEEL FOLKS ARE GOING TO BE
VERY HAPPY.
MILLIONS OF PEOPLE WILL BE
HAPPY.
RIGHT NOW MILLIONS AND MILLIONS
AND MILLIONS OF PEOPLE THAT ARE
UNHAPPY.
YOU'RE GONNA BE SO HAPPY
WITH TRUMP.
I THINK YOU ALREADY ARE.
>> John: OKAY, BUT IN EACH
OF THOSE CASES, IT'S THE WAY
YOU GET TO THAT FEELING
THAT'S IMPORTANT.
LAYING OUT A GOVERNMENT POLICY
THAT'S JUST "YOU'LL BE SO HAPPY"
IS LIKE NAMING A RESTAURANT
"YOU'RE GONNA BE SO FULL."
OKAY, THAT'S THE GOAL, BUT HOW?
WHAT AM I FILLING MYSELF WITH?
IS IT ASIAN FUSION
OR WET CEMENT?
I PROMISE THIS HAPPENS ALL THE
TIME.
AND IN CASE YOU'RE WONDERING
WHAT HE DOES WHEN PEOPLE AREN'T
HAPPY, DON'T WORRY, HE HAS
A SOLUTION FOR THAT.
BECAUSE REMEMBER THAT DEBT
CEILING MEETING, AND HOW FURIOUS
MITCH MCCONNELL AND PAUL RYAN
WERE?
THIS WAS TRUMP
LATER THAT SAME DAY.
>> AND I'LL TELL YOU WHAT,
WE WALKED OUT OF THERE --
MITCH AND PAUL, AND EVERYBODY,
KEVIN -- AND WE WALKED OUT
AND EVERYBODY WAS HAPPY.
>> John: BUT NO, THEY ABSOLUTELY
WEREN'T!
NOT MITCH, NOT PAUL, NOT KEVIN!
NONE OF THEM!
AND TRUMP MAY BE ABLE TO FOOL
PEOPLE BY SAYING THEY'LL BE
HAPPY IN THE FUTURE, BUT WE
CAN'T LET HIM TRICK PEOPLE INTO
THINKING THEY WERE HAPPY
IN THE PAST.
IN THAT WAY, IT'S ACTUALLY
WEIRDLY IRONIC
THAT HE'S TAKING SUCH A HARD
LINE AGAINST DREAMERS BECAUSE
THIS GUY IS CLEARLY
OUT OF HIS FUCKING MIND.
AND NOW THIS.
>> >> Announcer: A LOOK AT
WHAT THE NFL WILL AND WILL NOT
TOLERATE.
>> COLIN KAEPERNICK IS A
FREE AGENT.
NO TEAM HAS SIGNED HIM.
MANY BELIEVE IT'S BECAUSE HE'S
TOO CONTROVERSIAL.
>> THERE'S A LOT OF BAGGAGE THAT
COMES WITH COLIN KAEPERNICK.
>> IF HE IS TOO CONTROVERSIAL.
>> MEANWHILE...
>> SUSPENDED FOR ONE GAME
FOLLOWING AN ARREST IN JANUARY
FOR AN INCIDENT INVOLVING HIM
SPITTING ON A NURSE.
>> VIOLATING THE POLICY ON
PERFORMANCE ENHANCING
SUBSTANCES.
>> DUI.
>> DOMESTIC VIOLENCE.
DECODE DWI.
>> HE VIOLATED A SUBSTANCE ABUSE
POLICY.
BRYANT WAS SUSPENDED FOR THE
FIRST FOUR GAMES LAST SEASON
WHILE HE WAS A MEMBER OF THE
CLEVELAND BROWNS FOR PE V USE.
HE WAS SUSPENDED FOR THREE GAMES
AFTER HE WAS CLAIMED OFF
WAIVERS.
THAT WAS DUE TO AN ARREST IN
2015.
>> THEY WOULD HAVE A TOUGH TIME
SIGNING SOMEBODY WHO PROTESTED
THE AMERICAN FLAG ON THE
NATIONAL ANTHEM.
I WOULDN'T WANT HIM ON MY TEAM.
I WOULDN'T.
>> John: MOVING ON.
OUR MAIN STORY TONIGHT CONCERNS
PRESIDENTIAL PARDONS.
THE ONLY GENUINE
GET-OUT-OF-JAIL FREE CARD.
PARDONS ARE ONE OF THE MOST
POWERFUL TOOLS AVAILABLE
TO A PRESIDENT, AND THEY'VE BEEN
USED CONTROVERSIALLY
IN THE PAST.
BILL CLINTON PARDONED MARC RICH.
GERALD FORD PARDONED
RICHARD NIXON.
AND, AS WE'VE MENTIONED BEFORE,
ABRAHAM LINCOLN ONCE PARDONED
A MAN FOR ATTEMPTED BESTIALITY.
IT'S TRUE!
AND IN FAIRNESS,
THIS WAS THE HORSE!
THAT'S A PRETTY FUCKABLE HORSE.
I'M NOT SAYING YOU SHOULD FUCK
IT.
I'M JUST SAYING I WOULDN'T KICK
IT OUT OF BED FOR EATING APPLES.
THE POINT IS WHILE WE WERE AWAY,
DONALD TRUMP ISSUED HIS VERY
FIRST PARDON, AND IT WAS
A DOOZY.
>> A LEGAL LIGHTNING BOLT FROM
PRESIDENT TRUMP LATE FRIDAY.
A PRESIDENTIAL PARDON
FOR ARIZONA'S CONTROVERSIAL
ANTI-ILLEGAL IMMIGRATION
HARD-LINER, SHERIFF JOE ARPAIO.
>> John: THAT'S RIGHT.
DONALD TRUMP PARDONED
JOE ARPAIO, A MAN WHO ANSWERS
THE QUESTION, "WHAT IF A RUSSET
POTATO SOMEHOW HATED MEXICANS?"
LET'S LOOK AT THAT DECISION.
BECAUSE IF THE PRESIDENT OF THE
UNITED STATES IS GOING TO USE
HIS VERY FIRST PARDON ON
SOMEONE, THIS EARLY IN HIS TERM,
IT IS WORTH LOOKING AT
WHO JOE ARPAIO IS, AND WHAT
THE IMPLICATIONS OF THIS
DECISION MAY BE.
AND YOU'VE PROBABLY HEARD
OF JOE ARPAIO BEFORE.
HE HAS CAREFULLY CULTIVATED
AN IMAGE OVER 25 YEARS
AS A HARD-NOSED SHERIFF,
WITH UNCONVENTIONAL METHODS,
THAT THE MEDIA HAS LAPPED UP.
>> SHERIFF ARPAIO, WHO HAS BEEN
DUBBED AMERICA'S TOUGHEST
SHERIFF.
>> AMERICA'S TOUGHEST SHERIFF,
JOE ARPAIO.
>> HE IS KNOWN AS AMERICA'S
TOUGHEST SHERIFF FOR HIS
CRACKDOWNS ON ILLEGAL
IMMIGRATION AND PETTY CRIME.
>> HE BRAGS ABOUT MAKING
PRISONERS EAT BOLOGNA SANDWICHES
SO ROTTEN THE MEAT HAS TURNED
GREEN.
>> HE MAKES HIS INMATES
WEAR PINK.
HE USES CHAIN GANGS.
>> INMATES ARE FORCED TO WEAR
STRIPED PRISON GARB
AND PINK UNDERWEAR.
>> John: WELL, THAT IS JUST
AWFUL.
THE PINK UNDERWEAR IS FINE,
BUT NO ONE SHOULD BE FORCED
TO WEAR HORIZONTAL STRIPES.
THEY WIDEN THE SILHOUETTE!
THAT'S A FASHION FACT.
ARPAIO DID NOT MIND THAT
COVERAGE.
HE ACTUALLY WELCOMED IT.
HE LOVES BEING ON CAMERA
SO MUCH, HE ESSENTIALLY SPENT
YEARS TREATING PRISONERS
AS PROPS FOR A REALITY SHOW,
AND SOMETIMES LITERALLY.
HE ACTUALLY HAD A SHORT-LIVED
SHOW CALLED
"SMILE, YOU'RE UNDER ARREST,"
WHERE PEOPLE WITH OUTSTANDING
WARRANTS WOULD BE TRICKED INTO
APPEARING ON A SET ONLY TO BE
PRANKED IN THE WORST WAY
POSSIBLE.
>> HEY, YO, YO, YO,
I GOT ONE MORE SURPRISE.
>> THESE TWO PEOPLE ARE ACTUALLY
DEPUTIES OF SHERIFF JOE ARPAIO'S
OFFICE.
>> TAKE 'EM DOWN,
TAKE 'EM DOWN.
>> SO DUDE, YOU GOTTA SMILE,
'CAUSE YOU'RE UNDER ARREST!
>> OH!
FOR REAL!
WHOOMP, THERE IT IS!
>> John: WAIT.
"WHOOMP THERE IT IS."
FOR THE RECORD, EVEN THEN,
THAT REFERENCE WAS 15 YEARS OLD,
WHICH IS A REAL WIGGITY-WACK
THING TO DO.
AND TRICKING PEOPLE INTO ARREST
FOR YOUR OWN AMUSEMENT
IS A TERRIBLE IDEA
FOR A REALITY SHOW.
THE ONLY WORSE IDEA
IS "NOT MAKING
PETER THE BACHELOR.
LOOK AT THAT FACE.
ARE YOU IDIOTS?
LET ME JUST SAY THIS.
PETER, IF YOU'RE OUT THERE,
YOU ARE AND SHALL EVER REMAIN
MY BACHELOR.
#Peterismybachelor.
#Hesacatchelor.
ARPAIO WILL DO ANYTHING
FOR A CAMERA.
AND IF YOU DON'T BELIEVE ME,
WATCH HIM SING HIS FAVORITE
SONG, WHICH IS OF COURSE
FRANK SINATRA'S "MY WAY,"
THE UNIVERSAL ANTHEM OF ASSHOLES
EVERYWHERE, FOR A DOCUMENTARY
FILM CREW.
>> ♪ THE RECORD SHOWS ♪
♪ I TOOK THE BLOWS ♪
♪ AND DID IT MY WAY ♪
>> John: HERE'S SOMETHING
INTERESTING.
WHEN FRANK SINATRA HEARD THAT,
HE ACTUALLY CLIMBED OUT OF HIS
GRAVE, WALKED 400 MILES
TO ARPAIO'S HOUSE,
RANG THE DOORBELL,
AND SIMPLY SAID, "NO."
BUT WHAT DOES "DOING IT ARPAIO'S
WAY" ACTUALLY MEAN?
BECAUSE TRUMP DIDN'T JUST PARDON
HIM.
HE TOUTED ARPAIO'S SUPPORT
ON THE CAMPAIGN TRAIL,
EVEN HAVING HIM SPEAK
AT THE REPUBLICAN CONVENTION.
SO TRUMP CLEARLY DOESN'T SEEM TO
HAVE ANY REAL PROBLEM WITH
"ARPAIO'S WAY."
AND FOR THE RECORD, IT IS FAR
MORE THAN JUST THE EYE-CATCHING
CIRCUS YOU'VE SEEN SO FAR.
AND MANY PEOPLE WERE AFFECTED.
MARICOPA COUNTY, WHERE HE WAS
THE SHERIFF UNTIL JUST LAST
YEAR, CONTAINS OVER
4 MILLION PEOPLE.
THAT'S A HIGHER POPULATION
THAN THAT OF 24 STATES.
AND CONDITIONS IN HIS
TENT CITY WEREN'T JUST
ECCENTRIC, THEY WERE APPALLING.
TEMPERATURES GOT TO 140 DEGREES
FOOD WAS LIMITED TO TWO MEALS
A DAY.
AND THEN THERE WAS THIS.
>> CHINESE LAW ENFORCEMENT
OFFICIALS DROP IN FOR SOME TIPS
FROM JOE, WHO JUST BRUSHED UP
ON HIS MANDARIN.
>> I HEAR CHINA VERY TOUGH
ON CRIMINAL, CORRECT, HUH?
I'M ASKING THEM, "IN CHINA..."
>> YES?
>> DO THEY PUT WOMEN...
ON A CHAIN GANG?
>> NO.
>> AH, THANK YOU.
I AM STILL THE FIRST
IN THE WORLD.
>> John: YES, HE PUT WOMEN
ON CHAIN GANGS.
SO, I GUESS...
#Feminism?
IT'S A GRAY AREA.
AND REMEMBER ARPAIO OPERATES
JAILS, NOT PRISONS, WHICH ARE
TYPICALLY FOR PEOPLE SERVING
SENTENCES OF LESS THAN A YEAR
OR EVEN JUST AWAITING TRIAL.
WHICH IS NOT TO SAY ANY
PRISONERS SHOULD BE SUBJECTED
TO SOME OF ARPAIO'S TREATMENT.
AT ONE POINT, HE ACTUALLY
INSTALLED WEBCAMS IN THE JAIL,
ONE OF WHICH SHOWED FEMALE
INMATES USING THE TOILET,
WHICH WOUND UP BEING LINKED TO
BY PORNOGRAPHIC SITES.
AND WHILE THE CAMERAS WERE
PULLED, THE SHERIFF'S OFFICE
DEFENDED THEMSELVES, WITH THEIR
LAWYER SAYING THEY DID NOT SHOW
THE PRIVATE PARTS OF ANY
INMATES, AND "NO JUVENILES WOULD
HAVE BEEN DISPLAYED" UNLESS
THEY "LOOK OLDER AND LIE TO US."
AND JUST SPARE A THOUGHT FOR THE
ATTORNEY WHO WENT THROUGH YEARS
OF LAW SCHOOL ONLY TO HAVE
TO TELL A REPORTER,
"DON'T WORRY.
THE WOMEN WE BROADCAST TAKING
A SHIT WERE PROBABLY
ALL ADULTS."
AND ARPAIO SEEMED ROUTINELY
IMPERVIOUS TO CRITICISM
OF ANY OF HIS TACTICS.
>> I HAVE NOT RECEIVED MANY
NEGATIVE COMMENTS, OTHER THAN
THE JUSTICE DEPARTMENT OR
AMNESTY INTERNATIONAL OR THE
CIVIL LIBERTIES UNION.
>> John: YEAH, JOE, BUT THOSE
ARE THE THREE KEY GROUPS WHO
MIGHT CRITICIZE YOU OVER
MISTREATING PRISONERS.
SO YOU JUST WENT THREE
FOR THREE.
YOU'RE NOT GOING TO GET
COMPLAINTS FROM
CARL'S JUNIOR, THE GIRL SCOUTS,
AND HOOTIE AND THE BLOWFISH.
THAT'S NOT WHAT THOSE GROUPS DO.
IS IT ANY WONDER THAT, WHEN
A REPORTER ASKED INMATES WHETHER
ARPAIO HAD ANY NICKNAMES,
ONE RESPONDED, "HITLER,"
WHILE ANOTHER RESPONDED,
"HITLER."
THAT IS A CHARGE HE'S DEFENDED
HIMSELF AGAINST BY SAYING,
"MY DAUGHTER HAS ADOPTED
CHILDREN OF VARIOUS
ETHNICITIES...
I GOT A BLACK, A MEXICAN WITH
DOWN SYNDROME EVEN.
AND YET I'M THE RACIST.
I'M THE FASCIST.
I'M THE HITLER!"
AND LOOK, I'M NOT GOING TO ARGUE
WITH HIM THERE.
THAT'S JUST SOUND LOGIC.
THAT'S WHY WHEN YOU PLAY
THE BOARD GAME
"GUESS WHO'S THE HITLER,"
THE FIRST THINGS YOU ASK TO
NARROW IT DOWN ARE "DO THEIR
DAUGHTER GOT A BLACK?"
AND "DO THEIR DAUGHTER GOT
A MEXICAN WITH DOWN SYNDROME
EVEN?"
BECAUSE IF THEIR DAUGHTER GOT
THOSE, THEY CAN'T BE THE HITLER!
IT'S RIGHT THERE IN THE RULES!
AND LOOK, ARPAIO'S JAILS WEREN'T
JUST TOUGH AND HUMILIATING.
THEY WERE SOMETIMES DEADLY.
OVER THE YEARS, THE COUNTY
HAS PAID OUT MULTIPLE
LARGE SETTLEMENTS TO FAMILIES OF
INMATES WHO'VE DIED FOLLOWING
INCIDENTS IN HIS FACILITIES,
INCLUDING OVER $8 MILLION
TO THE FAMILY OF SCOTT NORBERG,
WHO DIED IN CUSTODY AFTER BEING
RESTRAINED, SHOCKED,
AND BEATEN BY GUARDS.
AND WHEN ONE OFFICER TRIED TO
WARN TWO OTHER GUARDS THAT
THE INMATE WAS IN DIRE TROUBLE,
THEIR RESPONSE WAS CHILLING.
>> I TOLD HIM THAT HE WAS
TURNING BLUE AND/OR PURPLE.
I DON'T THINK HE WAS BREATHING.
AND HE SAID "WHO GIVES A FUCK?"
>> AFTER SPIDELL RESPONDED
TO YOU "WHO GIVES A FUCK?"
AND YOU WARNED OFFICER GURNEY,
WHAT DID MR. GURNEY SAY?
>> THEY SAID, JUST,
"WHO GIVES A SHIT?"
>> John: YOU CAN'T SEE SOMEONE
DYING AND SAY WHO GIVES A SHIT.
YOU CAN'T EVEN SEE SOME THING
DYING AND SAY THAT.
WITH THE SOLE EXCEPTION
OF ORCHIDS.
WHO GIVES A SHIT?
THEY'RE HIGH MAINTENANCE
LITTLE FLOWER CUCKS
AND THEY ALL DESERVE TO DIE.
NOW, I SHOULD TELL YOU THE U.S.
JUSTICE DEPARTMENT TO DECLINED
TO PROSECUTE THE CASE.
AND BOTH ARPAIO AND THE OFFICERS
INSIST THEY DID NOTHING WRONG.
IN FACT, ARPAIO WAS SO
UNAPOLOGETIC THAT BOTH OFFICER
"WHO GIVES A FUCK" AND OFFICER
"WHO GIVES A SHIT" WERE LATER
PROMOTED.
PRESUMABLY TO LIEUTENANT
"WHATEVER, ASSHOLE" AND SERGEANT
"ZERO FUCKS GIVEN."
AND THAT PROMOTION SENDS
A PRETTY CLEAR MESSAGE
TO ARPAIO'S STAFF.
ALMOST AS CLEAR A MESSAGE AS
A PRESIDENT PARDONING THE MAN
WHO OVERSAW ALL THIS.
AND REMEMBER, ARPAIO WASN'T JUST
IN CHARGE OF JAILS.
HE WAS ALSO A LAW ENFORCEMENT
OFFICER, AND SOME OF HIS ACTIONS
-- HIS RESPECT FOR THE LAW
SEEMED AWFULLY SELECTIVE.
OVER THE YEARS, HIS OFFICE
REPEATEDLY LAUNCHED CRIMINAL
CASES AGAINST HIS PERCEIVED
ENEMIES, BE THEY COUNTY
OFFICIALS OR EVEN JUDGES.
SOME OF WHICH WERE SHOCKINGLY
FLIMSY, WITH ONE BEING
DISMISSED OR THROWN OUT.
ONE WAS SO BASELESS IT WAS CITED
IN THE DISBARMENT OF THE
ATTORNEY WHO BROUGHT IT WITH A
MEMBER OF THE PANEL SAYING IT
WAS "NOTHING SHORT OF FUMBLING
WITH THE LAW LIKE CHILDREN
WIELDING A BUZZING CHAINSAW."
WHICH IS NOT ONLY AN AMAZING
STATEMENT, IT'S ALSO MY FAVORITE
PRECIOUS MOMENTS FIGURINE.
AND FOR "AMERICA'S TOUGHEST
SHERIFF," ARPAIO SEEMED TO LET
CERTAIN CRIMES FALL THROUGH
THE CRACKS.
IN 2011, IT CAME OUT THAT
HIS DEPARTMENT HAD FAILED
TO PROPERLY INVESTIGATE MORE
THAN 400 SEX CRIMES, SOME OF
WHICH INVOLVED CHILDREN.
AND WHILE ARPAIO EVENTUALLY
ADMITTED TO THAT, HIS APOLOGY
LEFT A LOT TO BE DESIRED.
>> IF THERE WERE ANY VICTIMS OUT
THERE, I APOLOGIZE TO THOSE
VICTIMS.
IF THERE WERE ANY.
>> John: HOLD ON.
"IF" THERE WERE ANY?
THERE WERE, WE KNOW THAT.
THAT IS A CASUAL INDIFFERENCE
TO OVERLOOKING SEX CRIMES
SO EGREGIOUS, I'M GENUINELY
SURPRISED THERE'S NOT
A STATUE OF ARPAIO
AT PENN STATE.
AND AMAZINGLY, NONE OF WHAT
YOU'VE JUST SEEN -- NOT THE
CONDITIONS, NOT THE DEATHS,
NOT THE BASELESS CHARGES
AGAINST HIS CRITICS --
HAS ANYTHING TO DO WITH WHY
HE WAS CONVICTED AND NEEDED
A PARDON.
THAT STEMS FROM RACIAL PROFILING
WHICH HIS DEPARTMENT HAS BEEN
REPEATEDLY ACCUSED OF
OVER THE YEARS.
AND ONE HUGE INVESTIGATION FOUND
SOME TROUBLING DETAILS.
>> A THREE-YEAR INVESTIGATION
BY THE JUSTICE DEPARTMENT FOUND
WHAT IT CALLED "UNCONSTITUTIONAL
POLICING" AND A "PERVASIVE
CULTURE OF DISCRIMINATORY BIAS
AGAINST LATINOS," WHO ARE
UP TO NINE TIMES MORE LIKELY
THAN WHITES TO BE STOPPED BY
A MARICOPA COUNTY DEPUTY.
IN ONE INCIDENT CITED IN THE
FEDERAL REPORT, A HISPANIC
DRIVER WAS INCARCERATED FOR 13
DAYS BEFORE HIS CITATION WAS
DISMISSED FOR NOT USING HIS TURN
SIGNAL.
>> John: THINK ABOUT THAT.
13 DAYS FOR A TURN
SIGNAL INFRACTION!
AND THAT'S IN ARIZONA, WHERE
AN OLD PERSON DRIVING WITH THEIR
TURN SIGNAL ON IS LITERALLY
THE STATE SEAL.
IN 2011, ARPAIO'S
PATTERN OF RACIAL PROFILING
RESULTED IN THIS.
>> A FEDERAL COURT IN PHOENIX
HAS DECIDED ARIZONA AUTHORITIES
CANNOT ARREST PEOPLE SUSPECTED
OF BEING ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS
SOLELY BECAUSE OF THEIR
APPEARANCE.
>> IF ARPAIO DOES NOT COMPLY
WITH THE COURT RULING,
ARPAIO COULD ULTIMATELY BE HELD
IN CONTEMPT OF COURT AND FACE
JAIL TIME.
>> John: YOU'LL NEVER GUESS
WHAT HAPPENED.
ARPAIO DID NOT COMPLY
WITH THE COURT RULING.
IN FACT, OVER THE NEXT 18 MONTHS
HIS OFFICE DETAINED AT LEAST
171 PEOPLE WITHOUT CHARGE
AND TURNED THEM OVER
TO IMMIGRATION ENFORCEMENT.
AND LAST JULY,
A FEDERAL JUDGE FOUND ARPAIO
GUILTY OF CRIMINAL CONTEMPT.
AND AT THAT POINT,
HE WAS A CRIMINAL.
HE HAD COMMITTED AND WAS
CONVICTED OF A CRIME.
THE THING THAT
THE PEOPLE HE PUTS IN TENTS
AND PINK UNDERWEAR HAD DONE,
AND WHICH HE FELT MEANT THEY'D
FORFEITED ANY RIGHT TO COMPLAIN.
HE HAD DONE THAT.
AND HE HADN'T EVEN BEEN
SENTENCED BEFORE TRUMP STARTED
HINTING AT A PARDON
FOR AN INCREDIBLE REASON.
>> WAS SHERIFF JOE CONVICTED FOR
DOING HIS JOB?
THAT'S WHAT --
YOU KNOW WHAT?
I'LL MAKE A PREDICTION.
I THINK HE'S GOING TO BE
JUST FINE.
OKAY?
>> John: BUT HERE'S THE THING.
HE ABSOLUTELY WASN'T JUST
DOING HIS JOB.
HE WAS ALSO DOING SOMETHING
ILLEGAL.
YOU WOULDN'T SAY
JOHN WAYNE GACY WAS "JUST DOING
HIS JOB" EVEN THOUGH HE WAS,
BY ALL ACCOUNTS, A PRETTY GOOD
BIRTHDAY CLOWN.
IT'S THE STUFF HE WAS DOING
ON TOP OF THAT
THAT NEEDED ADDRESSING.
AND YET, I DON'T DOUBT TRUMP
THINKS THAT EVERYTHING
JOE ARPAIO DID WAS OR SHOULD BE
PART OF A LAW ENFORCEMENT
OFFICER'S JOB.
AND THAT IS THE PROBLEM HERE.
THAT'S WHY THIS PARDON IS A SLAP
IN THE FACE TO LATINOS
THAT ARPAIO AND HIS DEPARTMENT
UNCONSTITUTIONALLY TARGETED.
AND THAT'S WHY IT'S A SLAP IN
THE FACE TO THE RULE OF LAW.
BECAUSE ARPAIO BROKE THE RULES
HE WAS SWORN TO UPHOLD,
RULES THAT ARE PUT IN PLACE
TO PROTECT CITIZENS FROM A
GOVERNMENT GOING OUT OF CONTROL.
AND TRUMP GIVING HIM A PASS,
AFTER EVERYTHING YOU'VE SEEN
TONIGHT, AND SAYING HE WAS
"JUST DOING HIS JOB" IS A LOUD
CONFIRMATION THAT,
AT LEAST AS FAR AS THIS
WHITE HOUSE IS CONCERNED,
FOR THE NEXT FEW YEARS,
LAW ENFORCEMENT WON'T
NECESSARILY BE EXPECTED TO DO
THEIR JOBS THE WAY THE
CONSTITUTION OR THE COURTS
SAY THEY SHOULD.
INSTEAD, LIKE SHERIFF
JOE ARPAIO, THEY SHOULD FEEL
FREE TO THEIR JOB --
OH, WHAT'S THE TERM?
>> ♪ MY WAY ♪
>> John: AND NOW THIS.
>> Announcer: I ANNOUNCED JOE
ARPAIO SINGS ANOTHER SONG WITH
NO SENSE OF IRONY WHATSOEVER.
>> ♪ I'M GONNA MAKE IT ♪
♪ TO HEAVEN ♪
♪ LIGHT UP THE SKY ♪
♪ LIKE A FLAME ♪
♪ I'M GONNA LIVE FOREVER ♪
♪ BABY, REMEMBER MY NAME ♪
>> ♪ FAME ♪
♪ I'M GONNA LIVE FOREVER ♪
>> John: FINALLY TONIGHT, A
QUICK WORD
REGARDING TRAINS.
OR, AS I CALL THEM,
"GROUND PLANES."
YOU MAY REMEMBER, ONE OF
OUR RECENT "AND NOW" SEGMENTS
CONCERNED SCRANTON,
PENNSYLVANIA'S WNEP.
MORE SPECIFICALLY,
THEIR BACKYARD TRAIN THAT RUNS
BEHIND THEIR WEATHER FORECASTERS
ALL YEAR 'ROUND.
IT'S A CHARMING FEATURE OF THAT
NEWSCAST, AND THE PEOPLE OF
SCRANTON HAVE A LOT OF OPINIONS
ABOUT IT, REGULARLY CALLING IN
DURING THEIR "TALK BACK"
SEGMENT.
>> TALK BACK CALLERS SEEM TO BE
PRETTY MUCH OBSESSED WITH THE
TRAIN AND TROLLY IN OUR
BACKYARD.
>> I WOULD JUST LIKE TO KNOW
WHOSE IDEA IT WAS TO PUT A TRAIN
IN THE BACKYARD.
>> I'M CALLING ABOUT YOUR TRAIN.
WHOO, WOOO!
KEEP THE TRAIN ROLLING, BABY!
>> QUESTION: WHAT IS GOING ON
WITH THE TRAIN.
WHY ISN'T IT RUNNING?
IT HASN'T BEEN RUNNING
IN WEEKS.
>> WAAH, WAAH, WAAH,
THE TRAIN'S NOT RUNNING.
I WISH SNEDEKER WOULD PUT
A QUARTER-STICK IN THAT TRAIN
AND BLOW IT UP.
>> John: WHOA.
THAT LEVEL OF EMOTIONAL
INVESTMENT IN A TOY TRAIN SET
IS USUALLY ONLY EXPERIENCED BY
MIDDLE-AGED DADS WHO ARE
DIVORCED OR ABOUT TO GET
DIVORCED.
WELL, IT TURNS OUT, THE PEOPLE
OF SCRANTON SAW OUR SEGMENT.
AND THE REASON I KNOW THAT IS
THIS.
>> OUR BACKYARD TRAIN GETTING
SOME NATIONAL ATTENTION.
SOME FOLKS LOVE IT, SOME FEEL
IT'S AT OUR AREA'S EXPENSE.
>> YOU KNOW WHAT?
I JUST WATCHED THIS JOHN OLIVER
TRAIN CONTROVERSY.
THIS GUY -- WE'RE NOT -
WE'RE NOT CLOWNS FOR HIS
ENTERTAINMENT.
I THINK THIS GUY OWES US
AN APOLOGY HERE IN NE PA.
>> John: HEY, HEY, HEY!
FIRST, LET ME BE CLEAR
I DON'T THINK THE RESIDENTS
OF SCRANTON ARE "CLOWNS
FOR MY ENTERTAINMENT."
I DON'T THINK CLOWNS ARE
FOR ENTERTAINMENT AT ALL.
THEY'RE FOR MURDER THREATS,
ATTEMPTED MURDER
AND ACTUAL MURDER.
THAT'S IT.
THAT'S WHAT CLOWNS ARE FOR.
PLEASE DON'T THINK THAT I WAS
MAKING FUN OF YOUR BACKYARD
TRAIN.
I FUCKING LOVE THAT BACKYARD
TRAIN, AND I ALSO LOVE HOW
PASSIONATE YOU ALL ARE ABOUT IT.
AND IF YOU DON'T BELIEVE ME,
LET ME PROVE IT TO YOU.
BECAUSE MY ONLY CRITICISM OF
YOUR TRAIN SET IS THAT I THINK
YOU DESERVE A BETTER ONE,
A BIGGER ONE,
AN ALMOST IRRESPONSIBLY
LARGE ONE.
AND THAT'S WHY --
AND I HOPE YOU DON'T MIND --
WE HAVE USED HBO'S RESOURCES
TO MAKE YOU SOMETHING
TRULY SPECIAL.
PLEASE COME WITH ME,
BECAUSE I HAVE SOMETHING TO SHOW
YOU THAT I'M PRETTY SURE
YOU ARE GOING TO LIKE.
SCRANTON, LOOK AT THIS.
IT'S NOT THE TRAIN SET SCRANTON
NEEDS, BUT IT IS THE TRAIN SET
IT DESERVES.
THIS THING SPINS ROUND AND HAS
EVERY SCRANTON LANDMARK WE COULD
FIND ON GOOGLE.
IT'S ALL THERE.
THE SCRANTON SIGN, THE ELECTRIC
CITY BUILDING, MULTIPLE OTHER
SCRANTON LANDMARKS.
I KNOW YOU HAVE A WATERFALL,
THAT'S WHY THIS THING
HAS A FUCKING WATERFALL AS WELL.
THERE'S THREE LEVELS OF TRAINS.
THERE'S THE TUNKANNOCK VIADUCT,
THE PENN PAPER BUILDING FROM
"THE OFFICE", THAT'S RIGHT
THERE.
THE TIMES BUILDING
AND RADIO TOWER, AND, OF COURSE,
OF COURSE, WE WOULDN'T MISS
THE LACKAWANNA STATION HOTEL
AND COAL MINE TOUR.
IT EVEN HAS A TRAIN TUNNEL
IN THE SHAPE OF SCRANTON'S
FAMOUS SON, BASKETBALL COACH
P.J. CARLESIMO.
I MEAN, LOOK AT THIS BEAUTIFUL
THING, SCRANTON!
WE BUILT IT FOR YOU!
SERIOUSLY, THIS IS YOURS NOW.
YOU NEED TO COME GET IT.
IT CAN'T STAY HERE.
SO, PLEASE WNEP, CALL US TO
ARRANGE PICKUP OR DELIVERY OF
THE GREATEST BACKYARD TRAIN
THAT LOCAL NEWS HAS EVER SEEN.
OH, THAT'S RIGHT.
THIS THING ALSO CATCHES FIRE.
I FORGOT ABOUT THAT.
THAT'S PROBABLY SOMETHING
YOU SHOULD KNOW.
THAT'S OUR SHOW TONIGHT.
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR WATCHING.
WE'RE OFF NEXT WEEK
BECAUSE OF THE EMMYS.
WE'LL SEE YOU IN TWO WEEKS'
TIME.
GOOD NIGHT!
IT'S YOURS, SCRANTON.